Alright guys this will be a long one ’cause my weekend was a long one… It all started on Friday. Well actually it started on Wednesday. Totally unrelated to EDM but relevant to my week. I had just got off my ego boost as I restored my deck into an Zen Oasis where I can enjoy breakfast or lunch or read a book or blog!!
That entailed power washing, paint stripping, sanding, water proofing and repotting my plants. I finished that project over my 3 days off last week. This week I was able to enjoy the fruits of my fucking labor.
Every time I buy a ticket to a rave, I get anxious because I just wanna fucking dance.
Ok now that I’ve patted myself on the back, let’s get into it. It was Friday night and I was having a great week. I actually was getting butterflies for this event. The butterflies were not because I knew the artist, I had butterflies because I could not wait to dance. Every time I buy a ticket to a rave, I get anxious because I just wanna fucking dance. Andy and my “assistant” let’s call her Mya… Haaa, see what I did there. MY Assistant. So Andy and Mya arrived at my house at 6:30pm from Baltimore so Mya could ride with me and Andy could pick up the rest of the group in DC. Mya and I got dressed in record time with the goal of being out by 8pm to head to the pregame spot.
For this event I went with a one piece deep V cut lacie. I was impressed by the burnt orange color against my skin. I’ll def be wearing that again. I didn’t have nipple pasties so I had to make some. I used some paper medical tape and a gold sharpie. Easy, color the paper tape and cut strips. Place over the nips in an X shape and there u have it. Quick fix nipple pasties. I decided to go for a softer look with the make up opposed to my dark shadow. So pink and purple were chosen.
Mya and I made it to the Pregame. It was one of the new apartments they have recently thrown up it the city. Gentrification is almost complete in DC. These are the result of all the new construction. The inside was nice. There were two master bedroom sized rooms. The bathrooms in each room was huge and one had a walk in closet. Of course it had modern fixtures, hardwood floors and yada yada yada. I asked the bell man in the lobby, we had to wait in the lobby, until the owner came down to vouche for us. In the mean time it provided a great photo opp. Mya took some great pics
The pregame was cool. The people were great to talk to. I was able handed out my fist set it business cards to promote my blog, during the gathering. Mya thought of the cards so i could exchange info during a loud rave. They turned out really cute and I said if I caught someone throwing my card away I was gonna punch them in the throat. We had them prepared for SayMyName and then Andrew Rayel popped up. So I took the opportunity to pass out my cards during his event.
We partied there at the pregame spot for about 2 hours. Did I mention dude’s apartment has a rooftop pool. Me and Mya are definitely trying to hang out there more often. We finally requested a car service to take us to Echostage. Those 2 hours spent at the pregame had me fucking twitching in anticipation. Actually, I was low key ja upset that we hadn’t left yet after 2 hours because I likes to get it in. Where was I? So I was antsy, antsy with anticipation, and these fuckers 😝 wanted to sit around and chill. Naw, I was ready to dance. Let’s go bitches.
Me and Mya all giddy with excitement were rushing to get through this security check. This time they didn’t take my bag hostage. Now I still don’t know the DJs so I’m going purely in suggestions. The squad said Ally n Fila with Andrew Rayel was gonna be good. So far they haven’t steered me wrong. Well we turned the MF corner and we were steered down the wrong direction of a one way road during rush hour… I was shocked and immediately noted how very little people were in attendance. I’ve never in my whooooolllllle 2 months of raving seen it that empty. I think a movie theater, showing a feature in its 8th week after its release, would have had more people in it than the club that night. Ohh I’m on a fucking roll with these apologies. I mean it was fucking empty. To that note, I can say I had plenty of space to act a fool. But the abundance of space made the experience less intense.
Not only was the crowd lack luster but the music was not doing it for me. It was real trancy… is that a word because if not it is today to describe what the hell I was listening to. I wanted to fall asleep. There were moments, few and far between where I could get all hype and then they would drop me back into a slumber. I can’t say I was totally bored cause I had my peoples, like my boo, creeper ass Andy…
As far as the crowd… it was another weird one y’all. I think I’m starting to notice a pattern. Trance people are weird… Now, I know I shouldn’t put labels on people and call them names, but how the fuck else can you generally describe a group of people without some existing stereotypes. So I talk about people, get over it. But let me rephrase, I won’t say Trance people are weird lets say nerdy and socially awkward. The same type of men that were at Armin were also at Andrew Rayel.
Like I said, I was handing out my business cards, but these MF were expensive. Me and Mya splurged a little bit and got the reflective finishings. So I am not just handing these things out like Kandy. Oh no, I am talking to people and reading them before I decide to give them my precious. Now here lies the problem… I had a few guys think I was stripper now granted, I was dressed like stripper and I do dance like a stripper. But that’s like asking a fat chick if she’s pregnant. Ask questions first before you make an ass of yourself with your dumb ass assumptions. However, I do need that stripper money so who knows… Let’s just say me and my best friend Discover are wild. Now the guy that pissed me off the most was this dumb ass that tried to dance with me and I said no. He thought it would be cute to come out his mouth incorrectly at the wrong bitch. After being rejected in my nice voice, he says “But you dressed like a cat so why not?” Biiiiitttttch let me count the reasons
- Sir Why do you think women are placed on this earth for your enjoyment
- I’m not your entertainment bitch
- nor did your bitch ass pay me to be your entertainment so why the fuck would you think I was supposed to be obligated to dance with you
- Even if I was entertainment, that would mean that I was at work, and I had that been my role I would be choosing my clientele carefully and bitch you wouldn’t even make the top 10 prospect
- Plus, you couldn’t afford me… sir
- I’m dressed like a cat because I feel like it and I’m at a MF rave if you didn’t notice
- and So the fuck what, if I’m dressed like a got damn cat; What the fuck does that have to do with me WANTING to dance with yo raggedy ass
- Bitch I’ve turned down way better than you, you are light work sir
- I didn’t come to dance with randos, I came to dance with my peoples. Are you my peoples… naw definitely not
- Plain and simple you ain’t cute, your body ain’t banging and I’m not even remotely attracted
Bonus: No, I don’t want your number; No, I don’t want to give you mine; No, I don’t wanna dance with you no way and No, I don’t want none of your time… Had to do it.
Now, I have a random question. Why do people always wanna talk in the club with loud music. I just don’t get it. That is why I made my business card so I don’t have to converse, because you can’t hear me anyway. But beyond that, why am I the designated therapist. I’ve been told I have resting bitch face, but there must be something about my demeanor, my presence or my aura that gives people the idea that I want to solve their problems. Honestly, I love to talk, hence my long as blog stories, I also like to give advice, but not when I’m lit AF and tryna dance my pain away (ode to Bmore club right there). The first time was at Kaskade. This cute little black girl came up to me because of my natural hair. I had it up in my faux hawk sitting up tall and glorious. So of course she would notice it in the crowd. She too had natural do, and she wanted advice about the white people at work. ⏸
Ok white people, lets have a little black social interaction lesson:
Some of us have real hair and some of us have fake hair, just like y’all
Our hair is soft if taken care of and brittle when its not, just like y’all
Our hair comes in many shapes, forms, colors and textures, just like y’all
We can straighten our hair and wear it curly, just like y’all
So stop fucking petting my head like I’m a got damn puppy, or asking me about a perm or a weave, or how many times I wash my hair each week. If you really wanna know let me give you a fucking clue… GOOGLE MF.
▶️ Ok I’m back. So this chick dragged me to the bathroom, for some quiet time. She wanted to know how to get the white people off her back about her natural hair. Apparently they had a lot of questions about black hair care and didn’t know when to draw the line. Well hunny, on a regular night I would sit down and have a sister heart to heart, but do you hear that beat out there. Honestly the convo probably only lasted for 5 minutes but in my mind I was in there for at least 86 minutes. It just wouldn’t stop. And no matter how many times I told this girl to just tell them white folk to fuck off, she did not get it. I think I walked away 🙊.
Then this time, there was love in the air. There are some crushing going on within the crew and I swear I became the love doctor. Once again, on another night I would not mind having boy talk, but I just came to dance and act a fool. Don’t bring baggage to the party, that’s where you supposed to drop some off. But like the airport they are keeping their baggage attended to at all times (ohhh and another one, I’m killing the analogy game).
Trance. Let’s talk about it. I don’t think I like it very much… I still have to release my blog on genre reviews. In it, I’m pretty sure I have the same sentiment. However there are some DJs that are light trance bordering on something else up tempo like dub step and then there are Trance trance that are bordering a more techno sound. AGHHH techno, I really can’t do that shit. It sounds like Asian children’s cartoon music. The pitch is usually torturously high and giddy sounding. It’s like that one fucking person at work that fucking smiles all day. You can say, your patient just took a shit on the wall and you gotta clean it and they will go in smiling and baby talking the patient. I don’t like those people either. WTF are you smiling all the got damn time, no one is that fucking happy.
But I also don’t like that dark EDM, dawg those are what serial killers are made of. Give me music just like my personality. Heavy, intense, fast, hard hitting, straight forward and sometimes gentle. That’s how I feel about Trap or dub step, right in the middle of the spectrum. I was still able to dance to the trance trance but I wasn’t satisfied. Two people in the group was feeling it though. Mya and Andy’s friend Milly. Milly, I met at Armin. She didn’t have anyone to go with so Andy set us up to meet. She was really chill at Armin, but I guess all she had to do was get used to us because this time she was so into it. I danced with her and Mya a few time, of course Andy and otherwise I swayed to the beat and enjoyed my friends company.
Whew, that was just Friday night. Let me briefly tell you about Saturday and Sunday. Remember how I told y’all fools to have a day set aside after raving hard, well I did not. Luckily I did not go so hard the night before. I had to be up the next morning by 11 am to make it to a Bridal Shower, that I did not know was an hour from my house until I put that shit into iPhone maps. Well to be technical it was an hour and 14 minutes hike to VA from Columbia. Bitch, MF shit got damn. Every now and then the Turrets comes out in me… I refused to believe the maps was accurate, because in my mind I had only set aside 30 minutes for this commute. That is why I live in Columbia, everything I ever need to get to is generally 20-40 minutes away. Baltimore 25 min; DC 40 min; Silver Spring 30 min; Rockville 30 min; Laurel 15 min; any where in Baltimore county 40 min; I mean, my location is fucking central to every place in Maryland. Well every place that is important in Maryland.
So I set aside my average of 30 minutes of commute time. Wrong! Wrong! I even put that shit into Waze, that MF was only gonna save me 4 minutes. So I had to do what I always do, put the IS into sport mode aka Spaceship mode, and drive like speed racer down the highway. Now people stereotype women and Asians as bad drivers. I will have to concur. Sorry y’all an Asian chick totaled my favorite car back in the day, so the stereotype stays. I don’t fit the stereotype. I got all 6 of my accidents out of the way at a young age (knocks on wood) so now I’m a MF champ. When I go into spaceship mode get the fuck outta my way, because when I cut you and press on the gas you won’t even have time to give me the finger because my car will be gone. My baby, yes my car is my baby, is fucking awesome ⏸
I splurged after my break upgraded my 2009 IS 250 to the 2015 IS 250 F-Sport fresh off the lot. My baby has:
- Heated and ventilated sport bucket seats with adjustable lumbar support
- LED daytime running lamps and LED fog lights.
- 2.5-L V6 engine which gets
- 204 horsepower
- 185 lb.-ft. of torque
- 6-speed automatic transmission with optional automatic stick shifting or steering wheel paddle shifting (I call it the fake stick shift)
- All-wheel drive
- Although its 0 – 60 mph of 8.3 seconds isn’t extraordinary for this class, it has improved handling and class-leading steering
- Driver-selectable performance driving modes* Economy (grandma mode saves hella gas), Normal and Sport (Spaceship mode).
- 18-inch alloy wheels
- Fuel economy of 23 mpg combined on the all-wheel drive
- Awarded an overall 5 out of 5 stars in federal safety tests
- Upgraded brake pads and precise, highly responsive steering system
- I can attest to this as I hit a wet spot when racing my brother on NYE last year and the car’s steering took control and placed me back on track also
- I can come to a complete stop with no skidding from about 60 mph in maybe 5 seconds. It has happened on my way to work several times when I’m running late and a city light changes suddenly turns red, because duh Yellow means go faster…
- I got the Nebula Gray Pearl exterior with the all black on black interior
Information Collected from Lexus of Lehigh Valley
Now I have no idea what all that shit means except my car is fast, safe and I can push the fuck out of it. I’ve raced 🙊 and beat guys who pull up next to me, realize I’m a girl and have bowed or giving an applause. Orgasm!! If I ever earn more money, y’all better watch out, I have my eye on that RC 350 whatever goes faster… Don’t let me get real money I might say fuck and just buy a MF spaceship 🚀.
▶️ Any who, I made it to the house at 3:40 pm 7 minutes ahead of ETA and the party ended at 4 pm so I looked at that as a MF win. Until I pull up to the address and see no cars out front. Damn, I had missed the party. But I’m already there so the least I could do was drop off the gift. I knock on the door and a confused man opens and ask how can he help me. I stammer “is this the bridal shower?” he scrunches his eye brows and looks at me funny, so I awkwardly say “well never mind I guess it was not…” It was like a light went off and and he says “Ohhh, the bridal shower, right you mean for Bunny?” (name change… ok y’all I’m tired of announcing name changes from this point on just fucking assume everybody’s name is changed, OK). “Well that was cancelled, you didn’t get the email?”
Got damn it Mother fucking bullshit ass slut whore bitch… there’s that Turrets again. I done fucked up as usual. No I didn’t get the got damn email, WHYYYYYY. I just spent an eternity on the DMV’s (DC Maryland Virginia) beltway and my ass could have been fucking sleep cozy in my bed. Fuck you FeFe, fuck you! I smiled gracefully and chuckled and said “Oh no, I did not receive that email, but I have a bad habit of not checking my emails.” If y’all remember KandyGem #2: the Spontaneous Event, I had uploaded this screen shot my phone and at that time I had I had 342 messages. Between work, school, private and my rave email, I get a lot of fucking emails. Most of them junk. So no, I did not see that one FML. p.s. I am still the wall paper on my phone. #VainityAtItsFinest.
So I spent 2 hours talking about life, relationships and health with Bunny’s aunt. Then at about 6pm I headed down the road to attend a pool party of a guy I met a few months back. Now that story is fucking funny too but I just can’t get into right now. I’m already blabbing away. Maybe another time.
Now, my sister was supposed to role with me, but just like me, she forgot about a prior engagement so I went dolo. I’m used to doing things on the dolo, last year I made a promise that I would not miss out on anything just because I couldn’t find someone to roll with me.
The party was in Rockville, the traffic had died down a smidge and since I was not longer rushing, I had no stress. Plus, I partook in a calming ritual with one the girls of choice, this included clouds of smoke and mother natures blessing. Stopped by a Roy Rogers for some chicken (don’t come for me with the black jokes… lol) and got to the party at which point I invited one of the other girls to join my system. Now, my sister was supposed to role with me, but just like me, she forgot about a prior engagement so I went dolo. I’m used to doing things on the dolo, last year I made a promise that I would not miss out on anything just because I couldn’t find someone to roll with me. Plus, I keep 2 bf on me at all times anyway. I set me up a spot, literally in the middle of the patio, you know center of attention, and posted up in my own personal lawn seat. I had music, mother nature’s blessings and people to watch. So I did, comedy all around me. According to the person checking IDs, I was officially the oldest MF at the party, WTF… Good thing is, I didn’t look like the oldest at the party nor did I feel old.
I was hit on by a cute little black lesbian, she was thick af wearing a red bikini. You know big titties and big ass. Curvy waist, I was like damn bitch so I can pull bad bitches too if I wanted and shit my good vibes almost had me holla back. Then I got hit on by the cute host, and I did holla back. I wore my mask for the second half of the party and FeFeline showed up. As the good vibes started to kick in stronger I went from chilling to winding in my chair to dancing by my damn self. People were probably watching, didn’t care because all I could hear was the music. I could feel the bass bumping with every heart beat. I was winding my hips and stomping my feet when the DJ announced that the party was ending. I forgot it was due to end at 10pm. Them got damn county ordinances got me again. Right when I had hit the peak of journey up my mountain top. Fuck.
Now work had been texting asking if I wanted to pick up some High Needs pay. That is when they pay Double and half because they are desperate. I was just about to make that call when Mya texted me:
It was right on time. As much as I need money, I need fun more. Money is not everything, life experiences are so much more. So I said middle finger to the man and went out. Me and Mya met up and headed Downtown Baltimore. We got to the bar and randomly ran into some of the squad. Nothing was planned, but it worked out perfectly.
I have not introduced y’all to Hannah, the youngest of the crew. I feel like I’m her mama bear and love guru and then theres Tia, the athletic one of the group. These two are the girls I went to NY with when I met Papi!! Them bitches cray and before y’all get ya panties in a bunch they know what I call them and its all love. We all stayed at the bar until 2 am and listened to a live cover band.
I have no fucking clue the type of music, I was just rocking back and forth. Wasn’t really my scene, but I can hang.
We went back to the Hannah’s and Tia’s house partied with their next door neighbors all night. People were in and out. I have no idea who I met. Then at around 6 am or some shit like that we went to one of the neighbor’s house who has a rooftop deck and watched the sunset… I mean rise. Technically, I’m nightshift so when I was talking out of my delirium from being up for 20 hours straight the neighbor boy laughed because I called it a sunset and fell slam asleep…