Wait before I get started did anyone see what I did with that title… I thought it hilarious so bitches laugh!! 😝🤣
TIME! How little of it we have for all the things happening in life. I’m rid of one time sucking responsibility, my Graduate program, and quickly I have found a new venture to fill its void. Raves and Ranting. I never would have expected, for one, to be going to raves; or two, be writing about them; or three be telling my whole damn life story to strangers but why not. I’m not ashamed of life ventures or the all the BS that happened this weekend.
I always wanted to write something. I can’t remember if I’ve said this previously. But y’all know how it goes. We are friends now so you just gotta sit there while I repeat my life’s stories over and over, and you just gotta sit there and pretend like you’ve never heard it before 😝. So what was a I saying… Ahhh, writing. I always wanted to write something. I was inspired by the time I spent reading, what I call hood fabulous freaky books. The official category is Urban Fiction. My favorite authors are a duo Ashley & JaQuavis. They are the authors of The Cartel Series. Ohhh, those books are so good! My other favorite author and series is written by Carl Webber The Family Business. Both of those series are must reads. I love these authors because, although they are writing about some gutter ass, grimy shit, their grammar, vocabulary, sentence structure and presentation are done well. Their books read just as any other professional writer regardless of the urban slang or crass vernacular being used within them. I’ve read some urban books that read like an 8th grader wrote it… turrible *in the voice of Charles Barkley. Just because I like reading some hood ass shit doesn’t mean I want to read books written by dummies.
Now I know some of y’all are probably tryna play me right now, because of the way I am presenting my blog. But don’t get my MF ass twisted, if I choose to write properly best believe my shit will be on fucking point. My GPA has always stayed above a 3.0 ever since I began school. I choose to write my blog as I choose to speak.
Now when I go to an interview, “I talk like a white girl.” Lol. You know that professional voice where you lighten your tone and speak properly. I can’t stand that fucking saying, as if black girls can’t fucking speak properly. Bish, I choose my tone according to the audience I am addressing. So like I fucking said; Do not try to play these games with me, because I will maliciously bring you down to nothing using proper english, or I will fuck yo’ whole MF life up in my native language, ebonics. You choose. Those type of assumptions are where stereotyping goes wrong.
On the other hand, here’s an instance where stereotyping general goes right… The conundrum of being on time. A problem all people face but especially, People of Color (POC). You know the jokes CP time. No matter how hard I try to not be the stereotype, I fall victim to it. Remember not too long ago I was stressing about my occurrences. Well them bitches is still a problem. That fucking CP time is killing me. What’s even funnier, it seems the POC that originate closer to the motherland the worse CP time becomes. In the Caribbean, everything is island time, and have you ever hung out with some Africans. Got damn, they move slower than a snail being serve salt for dinner. I dated this African guy and I would show up on average 15-30 minutes late and this MF would still have me waiting an hour after that. Like dude, really? I don’t know what it is, but white people you can have that stereotype, that shit is true.
I find that I am late because of TIME management, and simply just not having enough time on my side. I am always trying to fit a million and three things in my day and I never plan or allot the appropriate estimated time to complete each task. Instead I make sure all the necessary things are completed. That is what happened the week leading up my Chicago/Las Vegas trip. For example, I made sure I had a packed bag, but my bed never got made. I slept on a mattress with no sheets.
Another way in which time sucks, is that it flies when your having fun. Cliche yes, true also yes. After every rave ends and it’s time to go back to reality, I feel like I want more time. That’s how I felt about this entire weekend. It was a fucking great trip. I had some dumb shit occur due to my incompetence, but the weekend was so fucking awesome that I feel the universe had to throw some shit my way to balance out how great this trip was. Too much of a good thing is bad for you right?? My weekend was such placed me in such a juxtaposition in regard to Time. I didn’t want my time with Chi-town to end, it was going by so fast, but I couldn’t fucking wait for Sunday to come. I needed EDC to be here. The only way this trip would have been perfect is if Chi-town was able to get off work to roll with me to Sin City… however the universe like I said had to give me some shit.
Time spent. Chicago is a great city. My favorite part are the beaches surrounded by skyscrapers. You can have that metropolitan lifestyle, while also going to the park with an added bonus of the beach.
Let me give y’all a little background. Chi-town and I, we ughhh, have a complicated history. First, I was talking to his best friend, Hakeem the slow king of CP the one who would leave me waiting for an hour. We were off and on for almost 3 years, not just because he would keep me waiting, but there was other dumb ass shit that I let fly and shouldn’t have. My friends said I was dicmatized*. Ain’t gonna lie, the sex was good. However, during an off time when Hakeem had fucked up again, I ended up hanging out with Chi-town. I know, I know. The opinions of my decision to “cross that line” were 50/50. Me and Chi-town hit it off naturally so I didn’t and still don’t give a fuck about what people thought of it. Plus, I definitely liked Chi-town way more. He was smarter, more respectful, we had more in common and he never made me wait…
Definition Alert: Dicmatized; when a female remains in the grips of a no-good MF, allowing the same dumb ass shit to occur despite their better judgment, because the dick is good. I told y’all decent dick out here is a precious commodity…
Now, Hakeem found out about us on some pussy ass shit. I’m not saying we were hiding anything, but who I fuck, I feel is my MF business. So NO Hakeem didn’t need to know. Plus I felt that was between them 2 ninjas. Beyond that, boys always try and act like they so fucking hard, but they act like girls do. To get to the point, Chi-town’s roommate went back to work and told Hakeem that “his girl” was over at the house. First of all MF, I belong to no one. Second of all MF, why the fuck are you gossiping like a little bitch. Mind your fucking business. Third of all Hakeem got all in his feelings talking about “you can’t hang with my best friend,” and why the fuck not sir?? Last time I checked, I was single and if any man matches my credentials I’m gonna talk to him. I’m not just let a person out of my life, who could potentially be a good match, just because he’s your friend. Especially when you didn’t want to date me, you only wanted to fuck… #JustSaying 💁🏾
Ultimately, Chi-town ended things with me. He said he didn’t want the drama or distractions while he was in training for his dream career. I totally understood and begrudgingly did the mature thing and we parted ways. Guys always try and act like the females are always in our feelings, but guy do the same by getting all territorial over pussy that don’t belong to them. Hakeem ain’t want nothing serious with me, so why you mad son??
Present day, Chi-town moves to Chicago for a job, and asked me if I wanted to visit his new home. Fuck yeah, we had to finish what we started. After a stressful experience at BWI, I arrived to his apartment building while he was at work. He had left the key with the concierge and he told me to let myself in. I needed a chill day after my travel fiasco, so I took a shower, put on my body oils and fell asleep naked in his bed. I woke to him rubbing on my booty. I was so excited I think I hugged him tight for an hour. We got caught up with each others live and He cooked a steak dinner for me. A man that can cook is everything!
My EDM life came into play in Chicago when we caught a share ride to dinner Friday night. When I hopped into the mini SUV, I noted the girl in the front seat was wearing a REDUX hat. I had recognized the term *pat on the back. I just could not remember how it related to EDM. So I did what most extroverts do, I asked a question, “What is your hat from?” She turned around and said “Oh, it’s Kaskade, it’s their old original style music.” Ahhh, that’s where I saw that term at, I must have come across it when I was looking into Kaskade for the show in DC. I also remembered that they were performing in Chicago this weekend, because I tried to convince Chi-town to go to a rave with me and that would have been it. The Friday show was sold out at the time I was looking at tickets. I also remembered reading that Kaskade was from Chicago. So I used those tid bits of information to spark a conversation with the girl. I gave her my business card and told her I went to the show in DC. Her eyes lit up as she told me some of her rave squad had gone to DC and they said it was one of the best shows in the tour. I was so siced that I was able to hold a conversation with a stranger about my new love, especially on a show that I thoroughly enjoyed. Bonus, the show I attended was “one of the best in the tour,” I was #Winning. We conversed the entire ride and even the driver chimed in as a retiree from the scene. Ugh, she made my MF day.
After she made my day shit kinda went sideways for me. Remember I said some BS was involved with this trip. Our Friday night continued at dinner and I learned that Chi-town’s childhood best friend was having a rough week. Being the understanding Wonderful Woman (👈🏾 see what I did there) that I am, I accepted the fact that his friend needed company and would be tagging along to the bar hopping. Fine, its fucking bar hopping, who cares. Chi-town and I ate fantastic Chicago style pizza at Gino’s. The best part was the graffiti on the walls. Oops my bad, I didn’t save my Chicago story, I thought that shit was on auto save 😫. Well the damn wall was covered 100% with names, but of course I still had to tag that shit. Chi-town’s “too cool for school’s ass” said he didn’t wanna tag the wall so I did it for him.
After dinner we headed for the first bar. I had my Henny White in a water bottle which I finished. We hopped out the Uber and headed inside. Chi-town found his home boy and we proceeded to dance. I went to go Snap the crowd ’cause they were hype and I didn’t have my phone in my hand. Got dammit FeFe, WTF… I left that shit in the fucking Uber. Chi-town didn’t pitch a fit, he calmly pulled out his phone and called mine. The next rider agreed to grab it for us and gave us a location to meet. When I tell you felt 80 million things at that moment:
embarrassed, dumb, silly, drunk, enamored (Chi-town handled that shit like a man), horney, relieved, grateful (we got lucky with some honest ass people), elated, anxious etc… but a man that can take charge of a situation and handle it is everything!
We had to Uber to my phone finders, I gave the young couple a hug and offered to buy them a round. They declined, making them even more classy. See this world can be made of real MF people #PLUR. I just learned that word, and I think it refers to the “one love” type feel at reggae festivals. I’ll have to get into that deeper as I believe it goes even deeper than that. The Uber waited for us and we headed back to the spot. Chi-town paid for my mistake, he was so great in handling my fuck up. Back at the first lounge, we partied there for a bit before moving on the next spot.
As soon as we walked into the new spot, I was greeted by a chick who said it was her birthday and she asked to dance with “my sexy ass.” I’m not into women that way, but how the fuck can I turn down a chick who just called me sexy, why yes hunny we can dance. After my dance, I bought a round of shots to show Chi-town I appreciated his sexy ass rescuing my phone and we danced again. Oh, I forgot to tell y’all, this tall glass of water can dance too yaaassss. A man that can dance is everything!
At one point Chi-town asked if he could play wing man for his boy, I told him it’s cool. I’ve been to the club alone before, so it doesn’t bother me none, plus I know he wanted to cheer up his friend. Shit a man that is loyal to his day ones is everything! Sir, can I become a day one? While Chi-town was off being a friend, I get a text from Andy asking “are you watching the live stream of EDC?” A quick flutter jolted my heart, I did not know their was a live stream. I got the link from Andy and quickly turned it on. All of the MF people was the first thing I noticed. They were looking so beautiful, happy, and lit AF. The DJ performing was Ghastly. Now mind you, earlier in the month Ghastly had liked a post of mine on IG… I was so siced, I knew of his name as a well known DJ and he came across me, and apparently liked my shit… Lil’ ol’ Fe 😻 😻. So I will always remember his name, now don’t blow my high, I know public figures usually have administrators for their pages, but in my mind, Ghastly liked my post. Was it coincidence that he was the DJ I caught on the live stream or fate. Since, I was in the club I couldn’t really hear the show, but I could see and I became jealous and had to shut down the stream. I didn’t want to see them happy MFs having fun I was hating hard 😝. For the rest of the trip and for my mental, I just waited for my turn on Sunday.
Saturday, I got to meet his Chicago friends. This was impromptu, he’s apart of a social group and he found out they were going to be grilling in the park. He remembered that I had asked to go to beach. I guess he figured he could meet that need through this meet up. We got to the park where everyone in large groups had posted up in tents to grill on this partly cloudy Saturday afternoon. It rained a little but it didn’t stop the party. Under our purple tent we had a large table full of food. A good 20 people showed up and everyone bought something. Chi-town did all of the grilling, a man that can grill is everything! We did what all black folk do at a cookout… drink alcohol, talk shit, play spades and blast hip hop. There was no EDM to be played here. But I took the opportunity to talk to some of them about my new adventures. No one really took the bait, but no one judged me either. I feel like that’s a win.
All cookout long there was this one dude that was hitting on me. From jump, I told him I had come with Chi-town. That did not phase him. He proceeded to let me know that he admired my body hair. ⏸ My body hair MF… WTF kinda creeper ass shit is that. I have never eva eva eva had a dude compliment me on my body hair 🙄. Good one sir good one ▶️ He said he liked the way it sparkled under the sun, I asked him what sun? seeing as though it had been partly cloudy the the entire day. I explained to him that my hair turns blonde in the summer and that was probably the sparkle he was referring to. Then Mr. creeper recognized my Baltimore accent, as did pretty much everyone at the damn cookout. Damn it Baltimore. They were entertained by the way I say dog (dug) or two (tu). Black lesson for today, Baltimore has its own unique accent, just like New York or Boston. Some of our vowels are elongated “U” sounds and well the famous dog is pronounced as the “the dug named dug dug a hole.” Shit, if you know what the fuck I’m saying then what’s the problem… Well, Mr. creeper did not have a problem, apparently he was in love with it as his ex girlfriend supposedly sounded just like me. So he spent most of the day telling me to stop talking because “he couldn’t take it.” Last straw, he asked to walk me to the restroom and on the way back he tried to hide me from view behind a brick wall to ask to kiss me and if there was any chance he could see me that night before I left in the morning. Sir, we already went through this. I am here with Chi-town. No you can’t kiss me, No you won’t be seeing me and sir, you’re not even on Chi-town’s level so after this day you won’t even be in existence to me. When we got back to the tent, I noticed he had an entire conversation with Chi-town as he didn’t just try and steal his girl. Ha! If a person shows you their character upon first meeting them, take note…
At the end of the cookout I learned that Mr. creeper was bicycling around the park with a lone bottle of Ketel One Vodka. He stopped and asked the host for a cup. The host was being nice and let him join the party. He proceeded to hit on me and every female there. One guy joked “Mr. Creeper was like Katniss Everdeen, may the odds be with you sir” I died!!! That was a good one. The roasting went on for a good 20 min while we packed up the picnic. No one could believe how this drifter had overstayed his welcome. The only reason why I didn’t kirk out on him was because I thought he was apart of Chi-town’s circle.
That night, we went to see Wonder Woman at one of those fancy theater with the recliner seats, the movie was terrible. The plot was slow AF and Chi-town fell asleep. In my opinion, Marvel has way better plots and way better superhero than DC. Yes, I’m a bit of a comic book nerd. I love the fantasy of their worlds. I didn’t read comics, but I grew up watching the cartoons and the shows.
One of my all time favorites was 60’s version of Batman; POW, BOOM, CRASH… dennna-nenna-nenna-nenna BATMAN! I remember sitting in my grandma’s house turning the knob through the 8 channels available, stopping on Batman with white snow plaguing the television. So I had to adjust the antennae only to get 85% of the picture. Running down the stairs to the kitchen to grab some aluminum foil, I would race to attach it to the tips of the antennas so I didn’t miss a second. Ahh the nostalgia. Needless to say this female led superhero movie was such a let down.
Spoiler Alert: The scene that really blew me was at No man land. Wonder Woman felt compelled to free the enslaved people beyond enemy lines, so she walks right into the gun fire. Usually, everything looks good in slow motion, but this scene was just dumb. They had her ass walking all sexily dramatic in slow motion for too fucking long… bitch if you don’t get yo ass over there and start whooping ass, Imma fall asleep. The producers were doing too much.
Later that night, I started to get a sore throat to add to my BS list. In the morning, he dropped me off at the airport and I was headed to Vegas. There were no airport antics that day, thank goodness. My next entry, I can finally tell my EDC tale. I’m too excited to let y’all know about my first EDC adventure. Although only for one day #SundayFunday, it was fucking #Epic experience.