KandyGem #15: I Got a Cray Squad but I Did dis Dolo

It’s Friiiiidaaay!! My week had been fucked. I missed Above&Beyond the Friday before, but I knew I had DJ Mustard and Matoma to look forward to the next. I had asked several people in the crew if they wanted to go. Everyone already had prior engagements, but I was gonna take a page out of Ameerah’s book and do dis bitch dolo! I’ve been to the club on my solo shit before. The first time you do it, it’s really hard. You think everyone is looking at you like your an alien, because who goes to the club by their self, right?

It’s great to be with a squad but, to be quite honest, it’s fucking awesome to go out by yourself too. Here’s why:

  1. You are operating on your time, not anybody else’s time

  2. You can get away with things that a group can’t get away with because it’s too many moving parts

  3. Men are more willing to talk to a lone female opposed to one surrounded by a whole bunch of people

First of all, I didn’t have to rush for anyone. I took my time doing my makeup, and that shitimg_1393 came out bomb AF. I didn’t rush for shit. I took my shower, washed my hair, (washing black hair is key, because it makes it more manageable to style when it’s fresh that means my MF fro was able to reach for the sky… I mean look at it. It’s standing tall AF), changed my outfit about 5 times and definitely took forever beating my face. I didn’t face any text messages from my friends asking how long I was gonna be, there was no fucking stress. And when you go out to have a good time, it shouldn’t start off as stress. Once I got my shit together, I headed down to DC and didn’t even have to speed. So because I was chilling I decided to chief. Drove down that bitch at 65mph the entire time.

I got to Queens Chapel and there was no way I was gonna pay $20 for parking. So I found me some street parking. Being in the city alone can be frightening for some, but I’m from Baltimore. If you can successfully walk down those streets you can easily do DC. DC streets can still be “dangerous” but shit if you live life scared you’d never leave the house. I use the same argument when people ask about me traveling off the resort on vacation… who goes to another country just to sit on an Americanized resort all day. Booooo!! Plus, when a city brings the white folk in, the security and enhanced police presence comes with it… They literally had a cop on every corner as I walked to the club.

Unfortunately, the police do not prevent the cat calls* though. That disrespectful shit doesn’t bother me, it’s just annoying.  I don’t take offense like some women do, nor do I judge the women who do take offense. In my personal opinion, I think cat calling is just the only way in which a fuck boy knows how to speak to a woman. You can holla all you want ninja, but you won’t be getting any focus from me… so thank you MFs ’cause I know this booty is tight. I just keep on walking, give a little roll of my eyes, maybe a head nod of acknowledgement and then fuck with they emotions. I give them a show by switching just a little harder making them wish they can have this shit but letting them know there’s levels to this shit and I ain’t no cat calling type bitch. #LookWishDreamFantasizeDontTouch

*HeHe 🤓 “cat calls”  My alter ego is a cat. How appropriate…

Approaching the club line, I saw that shit was too long. Here lies another benefit of riding dolo. You can usually avoid some if not all of the line. First I explored option 1, the VIP line. The bouncer didn’t look like a great prospect for me to try my feminine charms. Still I tried it though, and I was right… hey I’m not everybody’s cup tea.  Then I spotted option 2, some black people in the regular line. Problem with option 2, was the girl to guy ratio was off. Usually, I could walk through the line and approach a group of guys and ask if I could stand with them because I wasn’t here with anyone…

Men of course are gonna say yes to a cute girl. Plus, with an event like this where black people are the minority, it’s wouldn’t be inconceivable that I actually was with them. That shit works most of the times, I’ve even done it at an amusement park before…

Since option 2 wasn’t that strong, I had to peep option 3, which was actually a more legit and easier route. EchoStage always has 4 lines. For some dumb ass reason, people always line up in one long ass line behind one bouncer. So I went around the long line and simply walked up to the shortest bouncer line. If I had a trail of people behind me, that move probably wouldn’t be possible, however it was just little ol’ me so no one noticed. That cut my line time in half and was in the club.

The best compliments come from straight women and gay men, they have absolutely nothing to gain by telling you that you look good! Meaning the compliment is 💯, purely genuine.

Once inside, I went straight for the restroom, you gotta get that out of the way becauseBathroom break that’s one pitfall to riding dolo. At a standing room type show if you don’t have someone to hold your spot you gonna be SOL when you gotta pee. So you better make sure your bladder is on empty. In the restroom, I found some nice girls who were in love with my outfit. I take pride in piecing my shit together so when I get compliments I start to gush, because someone has taken notice of my work. The best compliments come from straight women and gay men, they have absolutely nothing to gain by telling you that you look good! Meaning the compliment is 💯, purely genuine.img_1403Kandygem legs

I used to have dermal implants. I’m so sad because these fishnets throws me back to the days when my legs were blinged out 24/7… But my skin rejected them…

I had on some sparkly gem fishnets with rhinestones, a Victoria’s Secret bralette (if youcan’t tell the bish is my favorite), and my Mr. Berry kandi necklace that I got from EDC. Well actually it was Mya’s necklace and we ended up trading because I liked Mr. Berry and she wanted mine which was in the design of the edc logo.


Me and Mya traded necklaces. I gave her my EDC (shown above) for the Mr. Berry necklace. Next on my agenda, find a bomb ass spot to dance the night away and enjoy the show. Yet another benefit of riding dolo. It is so much more easier to find space for one. No one questions when one little 5’3 person posts up in front of them. So I just scooted my little ass right on up to the front. Plus, again if you play the female card and land in front of some guys while wearing booty shorts, they tend to notice your ass first before they realize they just been beat for their spot.

I discovered a great spot, front and center, only 2 people away from the rail. There were 2 couples in front of me that I made an agreement with, if  we become a unit I’ll keep people from coming from the back side and they keep people at bay  from the sides. Plus they were able to get me water bottles when needed. A symbiotic relationship was formed and it was definitely needed.

Side Note: Imma use the word discovered as sort of a hyperbole to make a random point. One in which has always baffled me…  How can you discover something that has already been found?  But somehow, white people stay “discovering” shit.  Just like how white people discovered fucking America. Last time I checked the Native Americans discovered America… Hints the name Native.  So in this case, I discovered the shit outta my party spot, planted my flag and called it FeFeland.

I’ve briefly written about the crowd’s vibe in past posts. It can be distinctly different, depending on the show/DJ. Some crowds be real fucking hype and alive, like at SayMyName and other crowds being socially awkward like at Andrew Rayel. I bring that up because I have nowcome to realize that there are contrasting moods depending on where your located on the dance floor.

Party Zone Map
My depiction of the Party Zones at EchoStage Washington DC

The Outskirts: Consists of the crowd that forms the perimeter boundary of the dance floor. In this area, there is nothing but space and opportunity. This zone is generally near the entrance, restrooms and bar of EchoStage. You have plenty of room to do whatever the fuck you want. The music is lower and less impactful, because the sound from the subwoofer has to travel all the way to bumfuck land just reach your ears. But, if you wanna shuffle or converse with friends with little interruption or just be somewhat detached from the nonsense of the crowd the Outskirts is where it’s at for you.

All the Way in the Back:
Of course you can assume that being in the back it’s more low key and chill. You’re apart of the dance crowd, but not really. There is still plenty of space to shuffle, or battle or whatever fuck it is you think you’re doing. You can start to feel the music, it’s not necessarily controlling your heartbeat yet but you can feel the thump. The lazer light show is not that concentrated so don’t expect it to be that great of a light experience.

The Middle Back:
That is the start of the real party. Your probably not gonna be shuffling hardcore up up in this joint, but you’ll have a little arm room to move around. Expect a bump or 2 from passersby, but for the most part if people are walking through you can easily sidestep to the to let them carry on. The bass is getting thick and the lazer lights are starting to shine through sharply to make a better impression.

In the Middle: Now you’re in the fucking thick of thangs!! The party is MF LIT. The crowding affect comes into play in this region and how often you get bumped into, will exponentially increase the further to the front you migrate. You may or may not have space to move out the way bitch, if people are passing through the crowd. You’re probably gonna get bumped every 5 seconds especially if you find yourself in what people perceive as a pathway. So make sure you close any gaps to not give any illusion that there is a path in front of you. The light show, in my opinion looks the best from the middle half of the room. The lazers are sharp, therefore the colors are bright. You can also see the entire stage pretty well and the stage lights are bright as hell. The bass has now taken over your heart beat and controls the rate. People are more likely to be wearing ear plugs in this section and beyond. There is a small chance that a mosh pit might develop. Everyone is fucking dancing and are lit as fuck in this zone so don’t be a stuck up bitch getting mad because you keep getting stepped on or bumped into. No-One-Gives-A-Fuck-Hunny… If you are becoming annoyed, take yo ass all the way to the back or the MF outskirts, duh.

The Front at the Rails: If in this zone, you can grab ahold of the rail or you’re about about 5 or so people from the railing (approximately the first 5 rows). The people are overly hype! If you wanna go hard in the MF paint you need to be close to the rail. It’s gonna be overcrowded and everyone is pushing and shoving as people are trying to fight for territory. A mosh pit is liable to break out near this zone. It’s not the best spot for the lazer light show, but you will definitely go blind from the graphics and the lights being displayed behind the DJ. Depending on the angle and close you are from the rail, you probably won’t be able to visualize the entire screen behine the DJ, but who cares because you can see the DJ’s face and if it’s your favorite DJ, that’s where the fuck you need to be. You will definitely go deaf from the speakers, they are right there and so are the camera men. The possibly of being in a photo is high. Security is stationed between the stage and the railing just in case y’all MFs get any bright ideas. Also, FREE WATER 💦💦 is available at the railing.

  • Asian Corner: There is a sub section at Echostage located stage left at the rails near the speakers. Ameerah and others have come to refer to area as the Asian Corner. FYIit was a coincidence that their chart label is yellow, it was the last color remaining in the iPhone markup colors… LMAO it’s kinda like that fucking yellow and black Power Ranger back in the day. They know they did that shit on purpose. That shit is fucking hilarious. I’m surprised the red Power Ranger wasn’t Native American or Mexican or some shit!! #ImNotaRacist #IhaveAsianFriends #ShitPeopleSayToProveTheyNotRacist #ButNoReallyImNotRacist 🤣. Apparently, the ravers that congregate to this area tend to be shirtless Asians and they come to every show… Ameerah said that’s where she generally stands when she goes dolo.

I was partying like a rockstar like I always do, dance hard, party hard, everything I do is MF hard. That’s when I was interrupted by these 2 girls…

As far as my crew is concerned, they will generally settle somewhere in the middle of the club. Not I, I like to be a rebel and take my ass to the rail. I ain’t never scared and I’m up to the challenge dealing with all the rowdy behavior that comes with the rail. I don’t know what DJ was playing once I arrived and established my spot, but as soon as DJ Mustard came on that’s when we had a problem.

I was partying like a rockstar like I always do, dance hard, party hard, everything I do is MF hard. That’s when I was interrupted by these 2 girls who just kept pushing trying to get to the railing. It wouldn’t have been a problem except in order for those girls to get to the rail they would be stepping in front of me and that wasn’t gonna happen. ⏸

Before I continue and get into my story, let me pause so we can talk about white privileged y’all. Yes!! That’ shit is a real life thing. It depends on what race you are and the people you hang out with to determine whether or not you believe it is in existence.

Definition Alert: White privilege – societal privileges, that people identified as being white in Western countries, benefit from. Those considered non-white under, the same social, political, or economic circumstances, do not experience or receive the same benefits equally. These benefits or rights are generally unearned, instead they are automatically bestowed upon the “white privileged” simply for being white. Often times the behaviors exuded by these privileged MF can be viewed as arrogant superiority. Benefactors may be oblivious that they are receiving special treatment, but that shit is debatable, because I believe some people play ignorant (that’s just my opinion).

Such advantages include but are not limited to:

¤  Positive cultural affirmations of one’s worth
¤  Presumed greater social status
¤  Freedom to move, buy, work, play, and speak freely without consequence or decreased consequence

The effects can be seen in professional, educational, and personal contexts. The concept of white privilege also implies the right to assume the universality of one’s own experiences as being the norm thus marking others as “different.”

Of course my NWFs automatically benefit from white privilege, but they don’t exude the air of arrogance that can come with it. My NWFs are hella cool and are a tad bit woke, I won’t say they are fully woke because I still have to teach them shit, but they are at least accepting. Plus, I wouldn’t fucks wit’ ’em that hard, if they weren’t cool. My NWFs are considerate and I trust they don’t mean any ill will or expect me to be anything other than who I am. I speak on race and the struggle with them all the time and they hear my point of view. Can they 100% relate? No. Do they pretend that they can? No. Do they down play my reality? Nope. And that’s why I fucks with them.

Definition Alert: Woke – a slang word from the African American Vernacular English which refers to a perceived awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial justice. The related phrase “stay woke” refers to the process of maintaining continued awareness of these issues.

▶️ These chicks behaved like they were used to getting their way. They wouldn’t take no for an answer. I feel like a normal day for these bitches involves whining a lil bit, an effective temper tantrum and people will roll over and give them what they want. They came off as if they believed they could just take what they wanted whenever they wanted. The bigger girl of the two, kept fucking trying to squeeze by me, she was trying to bogart through so she could be at the rail. Ah but see, the bitch don’t know me. I may not benefit from white privilege, but I do suffer from Spoiled Hood Brat syndrome. My momma ain’t have much, but she always gave us what we wanted even if it was the bootleg version. For example, we had all the movies on DVD growing up. Now occasionally, would someone stand up and walk right through the middle of got damn movie screen? Fuck yea, but you would just pretend you were in the theater and yell at the fool to hurry up and go sit down. They would always stand up on the good part too.

That night, what I wanted was my got damn spot. So I asked the chick where the fuck she thought she was going. The chicken head asked me what my problem was. I told her she was the MF problem since she thought she could just push me out the way because she felt entitled to the rail. No girl, that wasn’t gonna happen today. I chose to take the high/low road. See there is no such thing as the high road to me. Either you gonna get the bitch or The Bitch… today she was gonna get the lower case bitch. I chose the aggressive passive route and started dancing hard and wild AF. Hey, I’m at a rave, its not out of the ordinary to dance that was and that’s what I was there for, right? She didn’t really appreciate the few elbows that she caught or when my hip winding prevented her forward progress. But, I had already told her ass that there was no room for her 🤷🏾‍♀️. Because she didn’t head my warnings, she had to suffer the consequences…

Before I knew it, her friend tried stepping to me like she was gonna lay hands on me. All her PLUR went out the fucking window so all my MF PLUR went out the window, “Boo Boo, don’t get stupid in this bitch, that would be a problem that you don’t want.” I said to her ass while giving her the stank eye, “you really don’t know me and you really don’t wanna get to know me like that so don’t try me.” Technically, I have never been in a fight, so I don’t know what the outcome would have been, she was a big bitch,  but I have never backed down from a fight either. Fucks no, you ain’t gonna punk me bish. So I eyeballed this heffa for a good long 10 seconds, just staring deep into her soul trying to read her gangsta, it wasn’t there so I kept on dancing. They called me a bitch, I shook my head yes, like I ain’t never heard that shit before. Girl, I work in an ER in Baltimore, I’ve been called way worse. Come again hunny. No really, come for me again… Plus, how do you think I became a successful black woman in America, by being a sweet bitch. If I retreated every time someone called me out my name I would be nothing.

The girls gave up and then came the boys. I’m not sure if they were all together. Possibly, didn’t matter same rules applied. Thing is, if you think you are big and bad by trying to harass and tare down a female and your a dude, you ain’t nothing but a pussy ass mother fucker and you messed with the wrong female. These mother fuckers looked like the polo rocking rich kid douche bags that are used to getting their way. Well guess what MF? I am also used to getting my way. So you coming over here trying to push me out the way wasn’t gonna happen, bruh!. I ain’t gonna lie they were a little harder to keep at bay. But, my little ass is stronger than what people think. I roll, lift and push 300 pound patients for a living. The key is to widen your stance and the strength comes from the legs.

It was cute though, they really were really trying to push me. In retaliation, as soon as Mustard would drop a dope beat I would drop it low and booty pop and the crowd would move wherever my ass would move. I thought it funny that my ass could literally push a group of white boys off of me… so I then started doing for fucking kicks. Well I got a kick out of it. One guy kept saying “It’s the crowd, they keep pushing me into you.” Well sir, I will push your ass into the crowd and you can explain to them why you’re now falling into them. Back up off me you pussy ass MF.

The bigger dude became too aggressive so I had to get security to remove his ass. Bitch don’t play with me yeah I’m a snitch when I get tired of playing these games with you. The second guy was upset that his fuck buddy was kicked out so he kept trying to antagonize me to get me kicked out. You can’t get me like that. I’m vindictive AF, I may be impatient with everything else but revenge I will take my time with. I’m the eldest of 2 little sisters and I grew up mastering the role of the antagonist. Ironically, I utilized the advice that my grandma used to tell my sisters, “just ignore her and she will get tired of bothering you. If you keep feeding into it, she will keep teasing you.” That was some wise advice grandma. I stopped acknowledging the advances of this loser and went back to dancing AF. I partied as if he did not exist, which in my world he did not.  He caught a few bows from me just like the girls earlier.  Hey, I was dancing, so what could his pussy ass say “help this girl is dancing too hard…” Eventually, his dumb ass got bored or whatever, cause he disappeared. Too bad too, cause after Mustard finished his set, the couple in front of me left, leaving me on the rail for Matoma!! #Winning

DJ Mustard ended on some old school throwbacks that took me back to my high school days, reminiscing. Thus, I was feeling good once Matoma hit the stage. Plus, the way the rail is design it has a ledge in which I could place my cat pack on. That meant I was unrestricted and really would be dancing. I enjoyed Matoma’s set. I made a somewhat of a PLURiend at the rail. I was reapplying my lipstick, because everyone knows at the rail your picture is gonna be taken, so you better be ready. Was my pic taken?Definitely.

The girl next to me asked if I could put lipstick on her. Sure! I did and we took pics. But I did overhear, what I assume was her girlfriend, say “take that shit off…” Why you mad girl?? Chill. I’m definitely not tryna take your girl, but if I was you would have had to just consider her taken… 😂 #MrsStealYoGirl

After the show Matoma and his friend stayed around to take pics with the fans. Dj Mustard did not. I guess he ain’t got time for the fans… I don’t know and don’t care. All I can say is, before the show I was there to see DJ Mustard, but after the show, I was more of a Matoma fan.

Matoma was so nice. He introduced himself by his real name Tom. He was personable and cute. His boy was the same… They stayed and talked to people for a hot second, not a click and quit it session. They were so down to earth. Not every DJ stays after to greet the fans for free. I think more DJs should consider it, especially in the small venues because the fans really appreciate it and you earn new fans. They made one out of me…

I ended my night as usual, photos on the Echo wall, except this bouncer did a half ass job. How you not gonna get the entire Echo name in the pic bruh?? Then he proceeded to kick me out cause he was ready to go home. That’s ok cause I gave his homeboy my card

and he reached out on the gram. His ass is fine too 🙊. I learned that he saw me in Vegas. Turns out since he does security for Glow he did security for EDC. He said he saw me in Vegas and then recognized me again at this show. Small world or stalker… we’ll have to find out. Shit I’d let his ass tie me up and kidnap me…

As I walked back to my car I found some more PLURiends.pluriends.jpg I factiously asked them if they were the white boys I almost had to fight inside, I told them I couldn’t be sure because all white boys look alike. We all laughed. I just had to fuck with them. I told them the story of what happened and they got a kick out of it. Retelling the story actually made me feel better and having these new PLURiends reminded me of the EDM spirit that I’m used to. A few dumbass apples won’t deter me from my fun, nor will they take my spot on the rail. HeHe. 💋 FeFeline

I read that Matoma is Tropical House. I have no idea what that is so I had to look it up and this is what I found…

Tropical House is a subgenre of Deep house, which is a subgenre of House music. It possesses typical house music characteristics, including synthesizer instrumentation, and a 4/4 kick drum pattern. Deep house, can often have a very dark sound, whereas tropical house is more uplifting or relaxing. The tempo of tropical house songs is a little slower than deep house at approximately 110-115 bpm. Tropical house typically includes tropical instruments such as steel drums, marimba, guitar, saxophone or even pan flute, similar to dancehall. And dancehall is my shit. Hip winding music. I’ll have to see Matoma when I have a guy to dance with.

Definition Alert: Synthesizer aka synth-  an electronic musical instrument that imitate instruments like piano, organ, flute, vocals or even natural sounds like ocean waves, etc.

Those artist that are known for their tropical house sound include Matoma, Kygo and Lost Frequencies.

Here’s a playlist

Matoma’s Top 5 songs on Spotify

Find Matoma and friends on Instagram




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