Ahhh man, this title can go in so many directions but I’m gonna take it straight down the gutter. I’m pretty much a 16 year old boy at times and that inner boy child is coming out today. I feel like I need to name this little ninja living inside of me but if I create any more alter egos, once I do pass my Boards, I might have to diagnose myself with with Dissociative Identity Disorder aka Multiple Personality Disorder.
Now the title is inspired by a wordpress.com blog in which they give you a word and you write. I like the idea because it forces you to pull from your inner creative juices and write within your blog theme in a different way. I think I’ll be doing this this writing activity from time to time to give me a different angle.
Now where in the hell does my inner 16 year old boy come in? Well, I get kicks outta dirty jokes and dumb stuff like “That’s what she said,” made famous by the The Office. Like a naughty teenager, or actually like y’all grown folks, I’ll be quick to send a nude. I try to keep respectable, and of course I damn sho’ expect one back so I can giggle that I have a naked penis in my phone.
Back to my point about making my seemingly innocent title sound dirty. Well a friend of mine said she loves #BeardGang men for so many reasons and one of those reasons were related to the title. I’m gonna get to that be patient. Now I too love a man with a nice scruffy beard. That shit is fucking sexy. I told my Ex a long long time ago to grow his beard out that fucker was like naw. We fucking break up and yes, his ass is now rocking a nice ass beard. He’s a light skinned black guy with fucking red facial hair and freckles and the beard I can’t deny looks good on him. I was talking to him post break up since we still live together, yes you heard that shit right, and I said to him, “Oh I see you’re rocking a beard huh?!?” Ladies, don’t you hate that shit, Exes be tryna get right after yo ass. Luckily, I’m single during the Beard Gang era so my roster stays filled with men with nice beards.
Side Note: Don’t worry white folk… #BeardGang is not really a gang 😉 and neither is #BlackLivesMatter. Black men are not scary.
I’m getting closer, Beards, my friend and savor the flavor… My friend CoCo, although recently she has gotten a new beau and has been coolin’ it these days, we were hanging tough for a good 3 years. She was wild and cray, she loved to party, get fucked up and have a good time. She was sort of the ring leader of my “black friends.” Like I said she loves men with beards and one day she explained to me why she loves men with beards. “FeFe, a man with a beard not only looks hot and rugged, but after you sit on a ninja’s face, you gotta make sure you leave some flavor for him that way he can taste you for the rest of the day.” Told you bish was wild, I love that girl. She proceeded to tell me that they are called Flavor Savers. Moral of the story: Flavor Savors allow for men to savor your flavor thus remembering who you are as they go about the rest of their day. Although the rest of my post won’t have nothing to do with sitting on a MFs face, this entire story I just told, was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the word savor. 😈 😜.
EDM is that orgasm left all up in my beard well, if I could grow one. The ways I’d love to ` the flavors of this music genre. I’ve said it many times in the 16 previous entries I already written. I am in love with this music. I love it because it takes me back to my real club days in Baltimore. I say real because lately I’ve only been going to lounges. Lounges have become the trend. You don’t go to the club you go to a lounge, which is basically a fancy way of saying a club. They take a spot and just add some foo foo decorative upgrades to make party goers feel like they are partying in luxury. It gives them the juice to inforce dressy attire dress codes, charge outrageous covers at the door, slam you on the weak yet expensive cocktails meanwhile there’s no fucking where to lounge!! You gotta drop a stack to squeeze 10 people on a small ass sofa sharing one “Top Shelf” bottle of liquor. First of all bitches Ciroc is not top shelf stop fooling yourself. Second of all if you calling this MF a lounge give me a MF place to lounge especially since you expect me to bring my ass in here wearing 6 inch heels when all I really wanna do is act a fool and dance. But guess the fuck what? People don’t even fucking party at lounges they stand around trying to be bad and bougie when they know they fucking feet hurt and they only got $50 left in their account cause they just handed it all over to this MF *air quotes ✌🏾✌🏾”Lounge.”
Back in college, Me and my girls would walk into Hammer Jacks or the Tunnel drunk af because the pre-game was cheaper than the drinking at the club. There was a strong possibly that we were also lifted off a J or two filled with herbal essence, and we would go dance hard AF all night long to some Baltimore club music. Literally the only thing the club would play was Bmore Club. Don’t come and be mad cause they weren’t playing the latest hip hop and R&B, naw son Bmore club, that’s what you were getting. It prolly cost like $5 to get get in. You might had to literally strip to be searched, I ain’t gonna lie it was hood af, but a wife beater some booty shorts and sneakers were the style of dress so you were comfortable. Before I went #TeamNatural I was perming my hair back then, so that shit would get sweated out every time.
Definition Alert: Perm or Relaxer: different from the white girl perm. It is my understanding that White girls perm their hair to get curls; Black chicks perm their hair for it to become straight. Back in the olden days it used to contain a chemical called lye. Lye essentially will eat your flesh… the No lye preparations will still burn the fuck outta ya scalp when left on your hair for too long. Fuck yea that shit is damaging, but after the perm your hair be silky smooth and that’s what black folk did to assimilate in this country. Why assimilate? Well when you’re told you are less than, your look is less than, your culture is less than or everything about you is less than the “majority” people tend to go with instinct and try to blend in, especially when your livelihood depends on it. Employers have a way of assuming incorrect, stereotypical nonsense about an applicant if they don’t look a certain way i.e. nappy hair. Now I don’t thing black hair is nappy, but other MF do. I had a bitch at work touch my hair and say “Oh wow it’s soft” Bitch did you just MF touch my got damn hair? I kindly explained that yes, MF hair is soft, and told they ass to never to touch me again with permission. Then I eyeballed the shit out of them. Why do MF like to pet me like I’m a fucking petting zoo? What I really wanted to do was grab him by the balls and say “Ohhh, they really are small, I was just making sure…”
Fast forward to present time and now my party experience has evolved into DC nights, dancing to EDM with a totally different crowd. These are the past and present moments that I Savor, practically leaving me craving future dance marathons. I’m ready and hyped to continue on my EDM journey. I want as many opportunities to savor. I want many more opportunities to share with people. These moments, these memories, with new friends and a new perspective.
I have found the thing that I would love to savor forever. I feel I was missing that thing in my life. Besides a MF man, I was missing that thing. When dating guys what ask me, “What do you like to do?” I didn’t have an answer in which I felt passionate about, until now! EDM, festivals and Blogging. I never want to leave this culture, it has brought so much meaning back into my life, it has filled a gap that was missing for so long. I have always been a party animal, it’s been my outlet, I have no kids for that reason. It’s like my life and the roads I were traveling all makes sense now.