KandyGem #18: Freak-Twerk-Hoe 3 Nights in a Row (Night 1)

This weekend was all fun and games. Maybe not Tic-Tac-Toe, but I def did get 3 nights of straight fucking ass shaking awesomeness in a row. And I feel like a MF winner.

Side Note: I’m gonna apologize, but not really… This entry is really late. It has been sitting on my computer for like forever. All I needed to do was proof read and add pics, but I’ve been studying. You know those boards I mentioned, that shit is coming up and I had to put some shit on the back burner. I need cash flow, so not work. I didn’t put off partying, hey if people call I go. So, the blog had to go on pause. After August 11th, I should be full steam ahead!! Wish me luck!!

Night 1: Thursday July 20, 2017

I saw on the Glow calendar (Local EDM entertainment Company) that AjunaBeats was returning to DC with the featured DJ as Grum and a back2back set with Genix and Sunny Lax. Honestly, I didn’t know either of those DJs but I said to myself that I had to be there, just off the strength of my first AjunaBeats experience on April fools. Thursday night was more like the real April Fools, I was tricked y’all. The label may have been the same but the music was not.

See, I still don’t have a clear understanding of how some shows operate. From my perspective, the first AjunaBeats I saw was kinda like a mini festival; Five sets, 6 DJs, over 7 hours. It was a blend of Progressive house music and Trance. I must have been getting to the progressive house cause I remember only disliking one set. It was about mid way through the show and I recall telling Mya that I didn’t like the music that was playing, it was too slow but I was going to use it as a break. Up until that point, I was going hard and that set was a much-needed break. I remember it being lower energy to the point that it almost brought me too down. I don’t think I danced that entire hour…

Thursday night was as stark difference from the April Fool’s show. It was 90% Trance music. Now that I know a little more about the different genres, I have come to the conclusion that trance is at the bottom of my list. Not below techno though. Mya says that trance is an acquired taste. If that’s the case, it’s a taste that I prefer not to acquire.

Definition Alert: Trance Music– genre of electronic music characterized by a tempo lying between 125 and 150 beats per minute (BPM)and a musical form that distinctly builds tension and elements throughout a track often culminating in 1 to 2 “peaks” or “drops.” A trance refers to a state of hypnotism and heightened consciousness. This is portrayed in trance music by the mixing of layers with distinctly foreshadowed build-up and release. A common characteristic of trance music is a mid-song climax followed by a soft breakdown disposing of beats and percussion entirely, leaving the melody and/or atmospherics to stand alone for an extended period before gradually building up again. Trance tracks are often lengthy to allow for such progression and commonly have sufficiently sparse opening and closing sections to facilitate mixing by DJs.

Ugh, Trance is too slow, the definition above claims trance can be upward of 150 bpm. Now keep in mind every fucking reference I find gives a different range so who the fuck really knows how fast each genre goes. With that said, I doubt that Trance shit actually gets to 150 bpm, especially since Trap music and dub step is defined at 150 bpm. Maybe, just maybe does the sub-genre, Hard Trance, get up there in bpm, but definitely not no fucking plain ass regular ass trance. Plus, when I say slow, its all really relatively because 120 bpm is still pretty fucking fast. Think about it, Hip Hop, R&B and Reggae average about 105-120 bpm with Reggae being on the faster end. So, in theory Trance is fast.

I need to stomp, jump, head bang and twerk just like I would if it were Bmore club. I find that dancing to true trance and not the hard trance is relatable to dancing to Reggae. It’s more melodic rather than bass dependent, therefore you wind your hips and sway. That’s cool and all but, that’s just not what I’m looking for in my EDM experience.

I went with Ameerah, one of my NWFs, the one that I said dances like a black girl. This was the first time she and I partied alone. Other than that, I partied with her at Chainsmokers but I felt like that was the shortest party ever… Ameerah is the one who “pushed the button” twice with Above and Beyond. Matter of fact, Above & Beyond is her all time favorite group and AjunaBeats is their production label.

I rolled up into SoundCheck, the smaller EDM venue in DC, and found Ameerah at the front of the DJ booth next to the VIP area which is roped off. There were 3 groups posted up behind the rope and I believe one was a birthday party. We’ll come back to the VIP people…

Before I rant about the fucking people in VIP, let’s touch on the Trance audience once again. I feel this topic is about to be a dead horse that I beat. I have to bring it up because they make me so uncomfortable. Why the fuck are Trance people so weird??? Well I don’t wanna call y’all weird so I need another descriptor. Hmmm let me think, how bout we say Trance lovers are peculiar.

Many of you fit into the #NerdSquad. I truly believe there is nothing wrong with being a nerd, I myself am a self-proclaimed nerd, but the trance crowd runs on the steeper end of the nerd curve. You know… like the classic, stereotypical nerd, like the ones portrayed in the movie Revenge of the Nerds type nerds, like the original comic con MFs before it became cool to go to comic con, type nerds, like the Big Bang Theory type nerds, like Steve Urkel of Family Matters type nerd… ok ok let me stop. I think you get the point.

The funny thing is, I’m attracted to nerds, but I’m attracted to the low key type nerds 😬 and Trance peeps are not low key. I never was attracted to the “cool guys.” Of course, I thought them MFs were fine, but I wanted to date the smart boys. My momma ain’t raise no dummy. I could see that a jock with his fine ass, was a high risk high reward choice. You were betting on them becoming a professional athlete, especially the dumb ones. Even if that jock was really good at their sport they still only have a 10% chance of being successful. But… if they do become successful they’re gonna be rich and that’s where women mess up, chasing a pipe dream. Looking for that quick win was never for me. A man with a big brain on the other hand has a 90% chance of being moderately to very successful. Don’t quote me in these fake ass facts as they are based on FeFe’s world Facts, not real research.

So me, I chased the smart MFs. Dawg, I had a crush on this one dude in high school, everyone at school called him Spiderman. He would go around school pretending to be Spiderman, I mean shooting fake spider webs from his wrist. That poor soul didn’t even take the nickname as an insult he embraced that shit. Me I could see beyond his weird tendencies. Unfortunately his ass never pulled the trigger so we never dated. He reminds me of the dudes in the club that night.

Me personally, I don’t think it’s sexy to be swallowing each other in the club. Especially, when y’all ain’t that good at kissing. Come on now, not everyone has a made for TV kiss, just saying

Of course I’ll make the usual disclaimer, not everyone in the club was nerds… That way Sensitive people can’t cry and say, “hey I was there and I’m not a socially awkward nerd.” Man, shut the fuck up, I know not everyone in that bitch was a nerd. People kill me with that. Now that the disclaimer is done, as I was saying, the nerds were ruling this night, and they were in full effect with they socially awkward asses. Besides the Nerds, the other type cast in attendance that night were the Gays, the kissy couples, the creepers and the Bitches.

The Fabulous Gays: Imma speak on them first because they were the only group I loved that night. They are my favorite people in general. I love them in any atmosphere, but I have noticed a trend with the Gays seeming to love Trance Music. Let me know if I’m wrong y’all, but I don’t think I am. They with their flamboyant fashion and mannerisms were all over me. That’s probably why I love them so much because I can have a loud personality too. That night, I was wearing some booty shorts with back pockets that I shredded and they loved the fuck outta them bitches. The cut outs gave a little peekaboo flash of booty flesh, enough to make a person curious. All the love and attention they were showering me with was gratefully accepted.

Kissy Face Mother Fuckers: Trance seems to bring the PDA out in people cause MFs was up in that bitch kissing to my left and to my right. It was like everywhere I turned I was bumping into couples with they eyes closed, body grinding and tongues all down each others throat. Gag… I’m not big on PDA, so it grossed me out, but I also don’t give a fuck with what other people do with their life. Me personally, I don’t think it’s sexy to be swallowing each other in the club. Especially, when y’all ain’t that good at kissing. Come on now, not everyone has a made for TV kiss, just saying 💁🏾

Creeping Ass Creepers: The got damn creepers were blowing the shit out of me. So y’all should know I like to go practically naked to these things. If I decide to walk in butt ass naked my body belongs to ME! Doesn’t warrant unwanted touch from nasty ass fuckers in the club. Then… when you mix socially awkward, man-children, who act like they’ve never been in contact with a sexy woman before you get a major creeper. These creepy crawlers were doing that inch a little closer thing, just like how I described at Armin van Bureen. Where they keep scooting closer and closer until their little ding-a-ling is pressed up against me and then they just stand there.

Bitch, is that your way of trying to get me to dance with you or naw? Are you gonna say something or naw? Do you think I didn’t notice your creeping ass or naw? Do you think I’m just gonna assume the room is so crowded that your junk has nowhere to go except up against me? Naw nigga… Naw!!!!Screen Shot 2017-07-25 at 1.08.53 AM This little penis trick y’all tryna run is fucking reDICKulous (couldn’t help myself 🤣 my jokes give me life). Don’t be rubbing yo shit on me sir. You-Will-Not. Pressing your little man against women and not moving is fucking weird, not peculiar, just plain ol’ weird and nasty and y’all fools need to get it together. Maybe other females don’t say shit, but me… I will carry the shit out of you, cut yo balls off and hand them to you partna! #Friday Get yo dick up off me sir 😒

Side Note:  I will now be including some Cattitude Mood Music for ya ass. I listen to a lot of music and swear some songs just could be my theme song for a moment, for the day and sometimes for an entire season or year. Music is very much intertwined in my life so outside of EDM you can also get a taste my other side. A moment’s Cattitude Mood Music selection will essentially, represent how I felt at that time. For instance, when these creeping ass creepers were all up in my personal space, they can get a rock out to Dreezy’s release F.D.N. Here take a listen and enjoy…

This Moment’s Cattitude Mood Music

Straight Bitches: Why females gotta be this way? See, I thought there were issues with unwarranted attitudes in the hip hop clubs with hating ass females, but nope, underneath all of that PLUR, hides a select few who thinks it’s cute to be a bitch to other women at the EDM club also. Just some friendly advice bitches, don’t live to ruin other people’s night, that shit ain’t cute or very becoming. That’s why the chicas that I do run with are carefully vetted. You got only one time to cross me inappropriately and I remove toxic people from my life. With the exception of that one MF, Hakeem, cause the duo was good. I kept that fucker around for too got damn long smh 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m not thirsty for friends, so if I cut you off, I have no reason to ever fucks with yo shiasty ass ever again.

Shady women, especially, when under the influence of their chosen poison, are the worse. I have plenty of bitchy moments too, but not on the random. If I’m being a bitch towards you, it’s because yo fucking ass deserves that shit. Now that night, I was fucking lit (as usual 😬) and in a good mood, so the bad girl’s club behavior for which I’m about to discuss, I let that BS slide. However, had them hoes caught me sober, or on a bad day a hoe would’ve caught these hands.

This Moment’s Cattitude Mood Music

🤣🤣Sike 🤡, I’m lying like shit. I just like to sound baby gangsta every now and then, heheee… cause I ain’t never been in a fight before. I ain’t got time to be fucking up my pretty face over some dumb broad stuff. Don’t get that message twisted though, cause my step-real-daddy taught me to never lay hands onto someone… unless a MF put they hands on you, then you better whoop their ass or else when you came home he was gonna whoop my ass for letting someone punk me. Growing Up Black Life Lesson: Don’t ever let nobody punk you, stand your ground and protect yourself. If that means whooping ass, then so be it. 

Finally, this brings me back to the Bitches in VIP. Not all were acting a fool, there were 2 beauties in the VIP section, who both received some PLUR from me. I gave them both a KandyGem and I genuinely loved their spirit and auras. One chick was in this cute ass pink bandage dress. She was so nice with a banging body and even felt the need to apologize for the behavior of some her crew. Which proves the sequence of events weren’t imagined. The second cutie was rocking a black outfit and we danced for a little. They both complimented my mask and outfit.

Home Made Booty Shorts

A FeFeline Tip: How to Shred Your Jeans I googled this a long time ago. I had some jeans that I didn’t want to throw out so I turned them into distressed jeans for a new look. It’s really easy! The video below will show you how. I used the tweezers technique with a straight blade. She uses scissors. I think it’s easier to cut with a straight blade, I got my blade from the hospital. Shhh don’t tell 🤐 #SnitchesGetStitches. Be careful not to cut all the way through or destroy the pockets when cutting. Unless you want to… I cut down my back pockets into flaps to look like my booty was clawed at! Once your done, throw them bitches in the wash and dry and marvel at your creation!

As for the other Bitches sitting behind the velvet rope, they can suck on the balls that never developed in vitro since my DNA sequence contained the XX chromosome. But had I gotten the Y chromosome and grew balls, those would be the ones them hoes could suck on wit they eye rolling asses. Every time they would exit from behind the VIP barrier each individual hoe-bag would deliberately bump into as if there wasn’t plenty of space to pass. I thought to myself, Bitch I know you saw me standing there, lucky for you I’m floating on clouds and y’all ain’t about to kill my vibe.

That’s how altercations are started in the club, don’t play with me. Then this other chick, I guess she was mad that I was stealing shine. I mean, I can only assume that was case because of how dumb she made herself look vying for attention. So the chick was first dancing in VIP, right. Then with such strong conviction, she decides to stomp her little ass from behind those velvet ropes, out onto the dance floor, and in front of the DJ booth, you know right smack dab in the middle of the space that me and Ameerah had been getting our life in all night long.

That heffa did all that, just to drop it like it’s hot, in some booty shorts and crop top, for a non impressive 10 seconds. Thinking she stole the show she exits, doing the most by almost dislocating her hips switching back into VIP.

😂🤣😂 Wayminute Bitch? Is we battling or naw?? Cause I didn’t get that fucking memo… I damn near died 💀  😪 At first I wasn’t gonna think nothing of baby girl’s performance cause she might have been tryna get her life too… Let her have some shine too. In VIP she continues her little dance. I’ll snap any and everybody especially since I want to start uploading my snap stores, but I try 2 ask for permission first. So I tap her on the shoulder and lean close to her ear to amplify my voice and this heffa snatches her shoulder away, flips her hair and walks away. Ok bitch… you got it 🙄 Your ‘tude has confirmed my suspicions and you look real dumb right now.

She prolly was really mad later on in the night when a dude from her group video taped me dancing…

On a petty note, I made sure to give a much better show than that biotch.

To all the bitches, Kiss My Ass

Now, her and her crew can forever have a documented memory of my ass.

I’m tired of people blowing me when I’m just tryna live in these streets. Can I just live? In summary, Trance is not for me. It’s too slow, it brings out the peculiar people and the bitches. Ultimately I live for that bass heavy and hard style shit.

BTW, Ameerah was like a protective pit bull after the show. I done seen Mya’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde’s side but this night, I done seen Ameerah’s flip side. I guess to be an ER nurse you gotta have a dark side… On the way out of the club, I was handing out business cards for my blog. Of course a guy took notice of my half-naked ensemble and tried to holla. I politely let this man know I wasn’t interested and this fools follows us out the club and down the street towards our car. Ameerah noticed the stalker and whipped around so fast and yelled out “Don’t you fucking follow us! Bye. #GetEmGirl 

Side Note: Fellas why y’all gotta be so damn thirsty? If a lady says no, here’s a good rule of thumb: maybe try your luck one more ‘gain. If you still get rejected I doubt the answer will change. Us women generally can scan a man in 10 seconds and know if they worth our time. So asking repeatedly to be placed on our hotline will not change the answer. It will only make you look desperate.

FeFeline’s DJ Discovery

Follow the AjunaBeats Crew on Social Media

*Source Official DJ Rankings

AjunaBeats April 1st Show

DJ Name Ranking* Genres Location
Jaytech 286 Progressive House Australia
Andrew Bayer 657 Progressive House, Techno Washington DC
Oliver Smith 1892 Progressive House, Trance London, United Kingdom
Mat Zo 3774 Progressive House, Trance London, United Kingdom
Ilan Bluestone 5161 Dubstep, Trance
Jason Ross 5444 Progressive House San Diego CA

AjunaBeats July 20

DJ Name Ranking* Genres Location
Grum 14427 Commercial Dance United Kingdom
Genix 896 Trance United Kingdom
Sunny Lax 6167 Trance Hungary

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