KandyGem #24: The Perks of Twerks

Every female has gotten their way at some point in time by using their feminine wiles. I know I have. I’m pretty sure if I had chosen to really master the skill I prolly could be living a great perklihood, but naw my ass had to be all feminist and shit and get a good education, a great career, pay my own bills, cover my half of dinner and never ask for anything out of pride. Well not any more. Well not anymore completely. I will continue to take care of my own but I’m also going to start enjoying the power of the pussy to supplement my new lifestyle.

It’s one thing to know your cute, but in order to be successful in gaining perks for twerks you’ve gotta embrace your sexy. Once a bitch realizes they’re sexy it’s all over for the MFs that crosses her path. Sexy people know how to use what they got to get what they want. I’ve been learning y’all.

It doesn’t stop there tho. You gotta hang around the right type of men or women. My desire to be spoiled no longer stops at one sex. Why do that?? Then you cutting off half the population. When I say the right kind of person I mean those with disposable income and who likes to share. Those who like to give because they find you hot or intriguing. Bitches best believe, I can now be bought. Because raving has caused me to become poor af…

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See, hanging out with my NWFs has exposed me to a different culture. White people love to give. For one thing, they are more likely to come from a background in which they can afford to give. Many of my MWFs’ parents own vacation homes, boats or whatever else that I’ve never even thought about. Me and my black friends, we grew up broke as shit so it doesn’t come naturally for us then to offer anyone shit.

If I’m at dinner with my black friends best believe that check is getting itemized and divided. With my NWFs we just split it evenly or sometime a generous ass MF will just take the fucking check. Before my NWFs, I ain’t never had friend take the check, unless it was a friend I was fucking. And even still I be paying my half of the check a lot of times.

Way back in the day, at my really white college, a girl offered to let me use her car cause I needed to go Walmart. We weren’t best friends, maybe associates but I definitely don’t remember us being that tight. I reluctantly turned down the offer.

This other time, as an adult, I had sex with this white guy. Literally, we were skin to skin only one time and he offered me the keys to his MF condo, to use as I pleased. Bitch… what was I thinking turning that shit down. I just felt I was not supposed to accept gestures like that but bish that MF condo overlooked the National’s stadium. Meanwhile, this other dude I had been fucking for years was only willing to grant me access to his place when necessary by giving me the combo to his key lock box. That was only because his schedule was so erratic that I would need access while waiting for him to get off work. I guess that was a perk right?… Naw not really.

Getting back to the point. These raves inevitably attracts people with money. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a gold digger nor will I ever be and money is not the end all be all, but you need money to make this Rave shit a lifestyle.

With that being said, I’ve noticed that a good portion of the rave heads, be professional AF. Me included. I told y’all, I’m a nurse almost a Nurse Practitioner, if only I can pass this damn exam next go round 😤🤓. I have been so surprised to learn the type of careers these people have; I mean physicians, lawyers, architects, engineers, accountants etc. They rage out and go back to work like they weren’t just wearing glitter and thing at the club the night before.

I have met so many people with connections, means and definitely disposable income. I have been treated so nicely by strangers who have now become friends. Now, I’m not saying twerking for perks will become my second income. Cuz we all know some females have mastered that shit as a career. All I’m saying is… I am now more likely to accept these exorbitant offers from my financially well off rave fam.

FeFe… it’s ok all you gotta do is say yes.


Mood Music: SZA speaks to my heart and soul on her entire album CTRL. In this song she speaks on the power of pussy and how we need to take CTRL over it.

Scan Spotify’s QR code to instantly stream


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