These days I be so confused on what to call people. With gender identity and how you identify becoming a hot button topic in our politically correct American society I just don’t know what to say. Honestly, I could care less about a title or a category except for the fact we humans like to group and sort each other. So I’m learning, after departing from a 13 yr relationship that I’m a Cisgender female who is heterosexual and Bi-curious. Which may all seem confusing so read this article on the gender spectrum and learn you something today. With or without these titles, I know exactly who the fuck I am. I could care less as to what society would label my ass as… I’m just out in this world living as a free spirit.
So how did I come up with “Bi-curious?” Well, over the 13 years of my heterosexual relationship… I’ve had many a moments of curiosity. But before the shackles were placed there was high school.
I had a crush on at least 3 girls. They were all openly lesbian Two were identical twins who were known to “turn Bitches out.” Although identical one was more attractive than the other. I would flirt with them but nothing too serious. I guess you could say I didn’t get turned, but I also never rejected the idea.
Then I went to Hood College in Frederick MD. It was originally an all girls school. When I got there they were coed for commuting men and by my sophomore year they were finally housing the boys. The guy:girl ratio was probably 1:100. No lie. I had a crush on a couple of women there too.
So HS and college curiosity never caught this black cat most likely because I had a man. However, after college I kissed a girl #KatyPerry. My friends and I laugh at this all the time. We were out drinking, I was pretty lit but I knew what I was doing. I can’t remember how it happened but me and my other friend started making out in a cigar bar. If you know anything about a cigar bar it’s populated with more Gents than Fems. Apparently everyone was watching… and when our third friend turned to us to comment on all the eyes burning a hole our way she learned why the fuck all eyes were on us…
Even after my first kiss, I still only acknowledged my feelings towards the pussy as “girl crushes.” My fucked up rationale was: since I only found a few girls attractive it was only a crush and nothing real. But looking back at it, if you really think about it, not every penis that crosses my path makes me horny either. So why did I dismiss them as just “girl crushes.”
This brings us to present day. To my #RaveLife. This life has opened all the doors to my curious mind. Up until this point I had girl crushes, had kissed only one chick and dated one guy the majority of my young adult life. Now that I’ve been going to raves with their free love mindsets, I’m slowly being led down a path of discovery.
EZoo, although I was technically on a date with a guy, y’all may remember Papi, from the Chainsmokers show. Well, unfortunately for Papi Ms. steal yo girl showed up. We were at the tent on the rail that divided the peasants from the VIP. There was this pretty Asian chick. If I had to guess she was prolly mixed with White. Holding on to the rail, I was head banging minding my business, when she came up to me from the other side of the rail. First she was staring at me hella intense. So me being me, I looked her right into her eyes and smiled. Before I knew it, she was grabbing onto my shoulders to pull me in close.
We danced a little and I made sure to run my hands down her back. Now this was my first time caressing a female in that manner. I mean I grope my friends all the time. Squeeze a titty here smack an ass there but it’s never sexual. This I mentally registered as different thus it felt different.
First thing I noticed was her frame was small and soft. The opposite sensation than holding a man. Especially since I like big MF with beards, so essentially I’m used to hard muscles and hairy textures. Which I find sexy also. Big bear ass MFs yaaassss! #NoPrettyBoys
After feeling each other out, I noticed that she would pull me close, close enough that our lips would graze but then she would dip low to bring her lips to my cleavage line. A few times of that and it like… ok let’s just do this fuck all the teasing games. Since I can be sexually aggressive and proactive, even when handling men, I felt like it was time.
With my aggressive nature I took my hand and placed it at the nape of her neck pulled her to me and I began kissing her and she accepted my lips. And once again, I noticed everything was soft about her including her lips. Mind you, the bass was pulsating through our bodies but for some reason it felt like just me and her. I didn’t notice and bumps or pushed from the crowd I even forgot Papi’s ass was standing there until his voice broke through requesting that I get her number. For why Papi?? I’m happy with what is happening now…
I like to bite so, I ignored Papi’s plea for a chance with the both of us and I nibbled on her bottom lip and she let me. Our makeout sesh had taken a quick break. That m’s when I noticed a black guy approach her from the back.
Well that’s interesting, she has a man and apparently a thing for chocolate. I don’t blame her. I watched her danced with her man, while they both looked on at me. So I gave them a show. Because fuck, what does FeFe do best, make herself the center of attention.
She comes back over to me and runs her hands down my barely there top and glides her fingers across my nipples. Gotta say, doesn’t matter if man or woman that shit feels good regardless. We kiss again and she looks at me tauntingly and walks away. All I could do was smile.
From that rave on, I started to notice bishes be checking me out. I feel like it’s the damn cat mask. I get love from the gays, the lesbians, the straights, couples and whoever else when wearing this cat mask. It doesn’t help that I will flirt with anyone. Doesn’t matter.
After this chick n her dude made me wide open… I’ve since been hit on by several other couples.
Most recently, my new friends that I met at Slushii. I was dancing with the girlfriend, who I call HannaBoo, she’s a fellow headbanger chick so we instantly clicked. Whenever the crowd would get too rough, her Boyfriend would protect us. I ended going home with HannaBoo n Boyfriend that night. I joked that we were gonna be throuple. Ultimately, we just spooned all night and that was good enough too. I enjoy laying next to her soft skin.
After our one night spoon, we’ve been chilling hard. Will we really become a throuple. Doubt it. But both experiences has rehashed my attraction to the female form. Now that I’m single… I probably will end up exploring the side that I never got the chance to explore. That 13 year lock down is over. Let me tell you, I’ve been running these streets freer than I’ve ever been.