Maybe that’s why it was difficult to let go, because the way me and her met was like a something out of “The party monster”. Sometimes I still think about her and I get a rush of “I knew you were trouble when you walked in.” (Oh Taylor Swift).
When we met, I was trouble and living one of the biggest lies. She was going through a rather difficult situation. It all began as a game, I mentioned to my friend “who’s your friend?” He coughed up the digits.
We started with random and short conversations. Sometimes I wouldn’t even hear from her. Actually, more like weeks of no communication. I had tickets to a show. The last year it would ever take place. I mentioned I was attending and she replied with “Wow and you didn’t even invite me.” I replied with a simple “LETS GO.”
At the moment I was living a lie and well…. I was scheming, actually I didn’t know what I was doing honestly. I knew I was out of love, but loved the feeling of comfort. Which of course is probably the worst thing someone can do to one’s self. Being with someone just because they are there is the most idiotic thing to do actually.
The reason being is because, when you do end up breaking up with that person it just makes It ten times harder on the other person. They are still in “ Lala land” while you are basically OVER it. If the person is smart they will know the behaviors have changed and will begin to question things, but in most cases they don’t ask and they act like everything is normal.
Now let’s get back to the story. While me and Jen left for the festival I was very nervous, so nervous that I got us lost actually. We were driving back and forth for hours. I had a crappy blackberry which made things worse (since the GPS on those use to be horrible back in the day). While I was panicking she was devouring a bottle of some random blue-Ish fancy alcohol. She looked like such a happy camper.
We arrived to the venue hours later as in, just in time to catch Eric PRYDZ closing out set. That didn’t seem to matter to me though, I was jamming while she was watching me from a far. I felt all the vibes going through me, but couldn’t quite channel them. Being emotionally closed for years, did a number on me and the after affects were of course coming out, this being one of them.
I was vibing though, no matter how nervous she made me. The fact that I hadn’t had one drop of alcohol also didn’t seem to matter. The only thing that mattered to me was the fact that she was there with me. The crowd, the music, the countless people apologizing every time they bumped into me. Never did I think though, that this would be one out of many adventures and that’s where it all began.