Kandy Gem #29: Mixing Business with Pleasure

I’m not one for mixing business with pleasure… Haaaa, let me stop lying to myself. I said to myself that I wouldn’t mix business with pleasure, but that seems to be my MF MO. I date people at work, most of my friends were met because of work, and now I write for a magazine that involves my new favorite obsession, EDM.Generally speaking mixing business with pleasure leads to problems. I have tended to manage my pleasure at my place of business very well. For the most part, no one at works knows who I am fucking with unless I want them to know.

The key to fucking dudes (or ladies) from work include the following rules:

  • Select mature MF to play with. This is very important for two reasons, they gotta be trusted to keep theirs and your business to themselves. They also have to be able to stay in their lane…
  • Establish and Stay in your lane. By lane I mean decide what you and your friend will be. Friends with benefits, open relationship, exclusive relationship etc. Whatever the TWO of you decide, make sure you both know the boundaries. Cause when feelings get hurt who knows how that will go down at work.
  • Have that uncomfortable status conversation right up front. It doesn’t always, but it prevents confusions about what yall are to each other. Ain’t nothing messier than one person being in love and the other is just tryna fuck. Trust I fucked up and fell in love with an MF… He was just not having it, but he was still fucking me which played with my emotions hard.
  • If you have to open your mouth to someone, only allow key trusted individuals in on the secret. I would say only trust one person. This is important because if the rumors begin to spread, you know exactly who opened their got damn mouth and then you can whoop ass. If you tell all your “friends” you find out quick that not everyone is your fucking Buddy and they “can talk.” They turn into a Chucky on yo ass so fast.  Sometimes, however, you do need a wing person on your side but choose carefully.
  • Most importantly, YOU can’t be the problem. You gotta learn how to keep yo mf mouth shut. Most of the time the situation goes awry because you slipped up. Don’t get in your feelings. Know YOUR lane. If yall are just fuck buddies don’t be mad when you see your friend flirting with another bitch at work. That’s the way the game goes. If you end up falling in love, you better tell that mf or you just gonna be mad all the time. And if that mf does not love you back or they love you and you don’t love them back, RUN! Bail on that situationship, cause now the expectations have changed and somebody is gonna get hurt and shit will get messy.
    • Trust me on that last one, I have learned from my own messy shit.
Definition Alert: Fuck Buddy: This is a person that you simply just have no strings attached sex with. There are different levels to this situationship so you gotta be careful and some use the term friends with benefits (FWB) interchangeably. I can be found to do this but I tend to mean a buddy is less involvement whereas FWB you tend to hand out often, go on mock dates, watch movies together, talk about your everyday problems and issues opposed to a buddy whom you only see when it’s booty call hours.
Stay in your lane: Don’t get outta pocket; know your place and stay in your place; know your role and stay in that role; don’t be extra, don’t speak on concerns that don’t concern you. Don’t speak about things in which you know nothing about. 

Moral of the story is, go ahead play at work at your own risk. Understand, that you are possibly playing with yo bread. Especially, if you going for a superior. No gossiping, or bragging or whatever, just keep yo shit to yourself.

I only had one mishap. It was a big, long, messy, 3-year situation that involved 2 best friends, my dumb ass falling in love, hella lane changing, a two month long depression, basically my ass was doing the most. Don’t be like me and do the most. The fucked up shit was I kept my mouth shut, I selected my players in the game correctly, I was outed by a third party.

Long story short, I met bff #1 first. He didn’t want anything serious. We were friends with benefits. One day our friendship had gone sour. I started chilling with bff #2. Bff #2 knew about bff #1 and he didn’t care so I didn’t care. Bff #1 found out we were chilling and had a hissy fit. Do you wanna know how his ass found out. Another dude… and they say women gossip. No!! I have learned that men are worse than women.

I was chilling with bff #2 and, his roommate recognized my face. The bitch ass roommate went back to work and told bff #1 that “HIS girl was at the house.” First off bitch, I belong to no one! Second off bitch, mind your business, I am single I can be wherever the fuck I wanna be. Third off bitch, it was bff #2’s responsibility to communicate with HIS bff,  I owe neither one of them mf a courtesy notice. Not gonna lie though, they both were worth the mess 🤭.

Now getting back to the real point of this blog entry. Writing for the magazine has been awesome. The experience is invaluable. I am doing the thing that I learned I really like and am actually pretty decent at and that’s writing. I am writing about a topic that I have recently fallen in love with. It’s like it was meant to be as they both came into my life at a time when they were needed. I was beginning to feel like I had a hole in my life and this new hobby has filled the gaps.

News Flash… I finally passed my Board Exams!!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾 So now I can dedicate more time to my writing. I finally got that shit off my plate. Whew! My heart beats fast every time I think about that achievement. Now all I gotta do is make a success with my blog and my role at the magazine. I guess I found my New Years Resolution. -😽💋FeFeline

Want more FeFeline? Catch me at EDM World Magazine. Get your FREE TRIAL today

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